04 Feb Love in Action Part 1
“What do you think success is?” asked the boy. “To love,” said the mole.
Not everyone gets to observe love in action quite the way we do at Dementia Together. We get to see couples married for decades honoring their vows to love, honor, and cherish their partners for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. We get to see grown children sacrifice time, energy, and finances to care for parents who once cared for them. We get to walk alongside even those couples who don’t have decades of history together but remain committed to their beloved later in life anyway. We get to encourage adult family care partners who have had long-standing difficult relationships with other family members, sometimes, the very ones in their care. With many of them we often reflect, “THIS is what love looks like.”
Watch interview with Robin and Don
We’re re-posting a few interviews done during the pandemic lockdown which show examples of lifelong, committed love among our memory café friends because our world can use more “THIS is what love looks like” examples. In our Contented Dementia classes, workshops, support groups, and consultations, we encourage our participants to “Listen to the expert—the person living with dementia IS the expert.” The person experiencing dementia is expert at learning how to cope when recent facts aren’t efficiently storing anymore while feelings continue to store in the same way as usual. (SPECAL® Method). One of our dear experts, Don, shared in the interview with his wife, Robin, “I enjoy it when she says, ‘I love you.’” His wife observed Don carefully over the years, listened with intention, and made her husband feel well loved.
“We don’t know about tomorrow,” said the horse, “all we need to know is that we love each other.”
Being heard is so close to being loved that it’s almost indistinguishable. (David Augsberger)
Robin also surrounded herself with Dementia Together friends, family, and hired help along the journey, because no one can sustain lifelong well-being for a loved one alone. Dementia or no dementia, we weren’t created to do life alone. We were created for relationship. Community. And love.
Cyndy Hunt Luzinski, MS, RN, SPECAL® Practitioner
Founder and Executive Director of Dementia Together
Pictures and Quotes from: Mackesy, Charlie. The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse New York, NY: HarperOne, 2019.
